- Men who have sex with men
- First Gay Experiences: 10 Straight Men Share Their Stories
- Health issues for gay men and men who have sex with men
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Men who have sex with men
In a gay club, the picture is similar, but turbo-charged. The link between lack of acceptance and body image rings true for David. David, who lives with his husband, Huey, in Toronto, mentioned another issue. No such categories exist. Being from a kindly, liberal family, I was taught that sympathy, understanding and tolerance were called for, and these things were not a moral question and not a matter for the police. Growing up in the s, I had no idea how recently this prism had been applied to sexuality, splitting white sunlight into colour-bands; or that a century beforehand these rigid categories had not existed.
But before the Victorians, sex was described more by verbs than nouns — as something people did rather than were — and sexual leanings, mainstream as well as minority, were appetites to which almost anyone might on occasion be prey. Those earlier ages had been vicious in their approach to morally disapproved behaviour but relaxed in their understanding that many, perhaps most, could feel the pull.
Then came an age in which the moral disapproval and legal sanctions were to fade — a good thing — but paddocks were to be constructed with pseudo-scientific names; and we were all to be badged, placed in one paddock or another, and later offered assistance and counselling if we wished to change paddock. To my surprise on re-reading , the first and still the most important such survey — undertaken in America by Alfred Kinsey and colleagues in the midth century — was the most enlightened. Kinsey distrusted brutal categorisation but, wishing to count, constructed what came close to a sliding scale containing seven gradations between exclusive heterosexuality and exclusive homosexuality.
First Gay Experiences: 10 Straight Men Share Their Stories
He found that almost half his male interviewees had reacted sexually to both genders; more than a third had had a homosexual encounter; and more than one in ten reported roughly equally strong sexual responses to both men and women. Meanwhile, the first paragraph of a YouGov survey in is worth quoting: The important thing to note about this apparent variance, though, is that it may be more apparent than real, arising from the available menu of words offered to people. Words create categories. Some of the men I slept with have gone straight despite a strong cultural barrier to a gay man doing this.
Indeed, hordes are: Straight men are equally reluctant to admit the converse.
There exist strong reasons for this taboo among gays: Secondly, if sexuality really is modifiable for some, how long before someone suggests cognitive behavioural therapy minus or even plus the Hallelujahs? Damn the Hallelujahs. The coming age may extend that from sexuality to gender. Dare to believe that there are no categories, no badges, and no walls. Roger Scruton. Nothing serious. After that happened, I never heard from him again. I think labels do more harm than good.
Health issues for gay men and men who have sex with men
Two years ago, another guy who was my age was put on the night shift. To pass time, we made small talk and gossiped about people in the building. One weekend around 2 or 3 in the morning, we were super bored and started talking about our hookup experiences. We ended up swapping head in a utility room. When summer was over, he got transferred to another building. When I was in college, I played football. Not that I was anything to talk about because I mostly sat on the bench.
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But there was a first-string dude that I was buddies with where things used to happen. It was never like we planned it or anything.
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One time, he showed up to shoot the shit — you know, like to hang out. I remember telling him my shoulder was messed up from a bad play and he offered to massage it to relax the muscle. After that, the rest is history.
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We ended up messing around. Over the course of a year, it happened a few times. The dude is married now and so am I. When I was back in high school, I dated this girl from my neighborhood. She had a brother who was the same age as me and we became friends. One time while we were hanging out, he shared with me that he was bi.
He asked me if I had ever been with another guy and I told him the truth — never. I guess there was a part of me that was curious.